Prime Time Monday Night

It's Monday Night Football time!!!!!

The Titans are playing the Broncos in Denver tonight, kickoff is in 3 minutes so I'd better hurry. It'll be a close game, and I'm so sad to hear that Albert Haynesworth is still too injured to play. Also, Travis Henry (an ex-Titan who now plays for Denver) is out of the game too, and I was really excited to see our defense give him a good challenge. Oh well. It'll still be a good game.

My pick: Titans 20, Broncos 14.

I've been knitting a lot lately, and have had a ball designing Christmas and Birthday presents. I'm also doing some knitting for hire at the moment, which is keeping me very very busy. I've got 2 scarves on the needles (actually, on the same needle). I fell in love with the design of my sis's Alchemy silk scarf, so I'm using the same pattern for mine, so why not knit them at once? Dad's socks are coming along well, but I'm really psyched about the boys' fair isle hats. I'm toying with double knitting earflaps and have had a lot of fun playing with that.

Here comes kickoff! Time for hot chocolate, knitting, and most important of all, FOOTBALL!!!!!

GO TITANS!!!

Happy Happy Happy Happy

Wow. In the past 2 days I have been completely overwhelmed - in the best way possible. As my Nanee would say, I am so incredibly blessed. I have the BEST friends and BEST family on the planet!

Thursday night I left work to go on a birthday date with a cute boy (my birthday's the 16th) and walked through his door to a big surprise party! Most of my friends are out of town this weekend, which really sucks because it's my birthday and I have a couple extra days off. So the boy organized a huge birthday party one day early with all of my closest friends and a huge, amazing dinner (they even got my mom to cook my favorite food). It was EXACTLY what I wanted. We ate and drank and danced all night - just perfect.

Friday I sat around and played with my birthday present to myself - a gorgeous skein of Alchemy Yarn's Silk Purse in the color "San Francisco Sky" - pictures later.

The next party was with the family. We ate another amazing meal, topped off with chocolate mousse cake. Yum. After dinner I had to step outside for a moment and when I came back in my family looked like this:


They were wearing just about everything I have made them in the last 8 years or so. They were all wearing hand knitted socks, belts, scarves, hats, nephew Hoss was wearing a poncho that I made his mom, everyone was wearing jewelry that I've made for mom and sis (even the guys), dad was in pajama pants - you get the idea. They wanted to thank me for all of the strange little things I do for them, and again, I was completely overwhelmed.

I even snagged a pic of Buddha Bear in his first birthday sweater.


The color is perfect - his blue eyes look electric next to that sweater.

I am so so so so so so so so so thankful for my wonderful friends who pulled off the best surprise ever! I am equally thankful for my family who have been so supportive of everything I do! I am so very blessed!

NFL Week 10

Guess where I went today? Here's a hint:


Carrie has season tickets, and took me to the game! Woo Hoo! But we lost and that sucked. My throat hurts from screaming and my hands hurt from clapping but it was a really fun time. Carrie rocks!

The only thing that really made me mad (besides the way we played) was Princess Frostilocks (he's the one on the right).


I love to play Mullet Watch. This is Music City where mullets are everywhere and you keep thinking that it couldn't get worse, but it does. I wish this picture showed the white blond frosted tips in their full glory. He had a bleach blond soul patch on his chin, and the wife-beater tank was hanging out of the neck of his shirt. He talked on his phone throughout the game and I was waiting for him to tell me to hush while I was screaming at our defense. It just made me scream louder.

This was the only second of the game that his arm was not around his woman (and her hair was almost as bad as his). When he put his arm around her he blocked access to my drink holder and I must have said "Excuse me" about a million times. If he messed with my hot chocolate one more time I would have gone on a frosted-mullet-bashing tirade, but kept my cool and was kinda worried that his girlfriend would scratch me to death with her scary press-on-nails.

I had to take a picture - that's for you, Sassy. She's my hairdresser/ best friend/ cousin/ knitting buddy and appreciates a bad mullet more than anyone I know. I normally don't make fun of people this much, but this guy needs to be in the Mullet Hall of Fame and he really pissed me off.

So we're 6 -3, still have a good chance at the playoffs, but the Titans had better get their %#*! together if they're going to win any more games. I still love you, Vince, and I really do believe in you, but right now my favorites are Keith Bullock and Kyle Vanden Bosch. I really like the way Keith sports the bright red gloves. The man's got style. And Vanden Bosch had a few really nice plays today.

Next week we're playing the Denver Broncos on Monday Night Football! I do love Jay Cutler, but we'll be kickin some Bronco butt.

And Betty S. - thank you so much - I had the BEST coffee this morning and am enjoying another wonderful cup right now!

Friday Night Plans

I'm trying to knit myself into a good mood. I've been a little off since the root canal and am still trying to work my way back to the normally happy-go-lucky esp. So, here's the plan.

Step 1: Make incredibly rich mint hot chocolate.

Step 2: Find a knitting project that makes me happy.

This one is tough. I'm designing all of my knitted Christmas presents this year and the patterns will (hopefully soon) be for sale at TBY. There's a book that I really really want but am waiting for it to come in, so some of the designs have to wait a bit.

I've designed something really cool for my sweet best friend, but swatched through an entire ball of Wool Bam Boo before I found the right design and still hold a grudge for that. I have yarn for hats for the nephews, but need the book to finish the design. I started Dad's socks on Sunday, but it gave me trouble (actually, I was unprepared and forgot my supplies and it's all my fault) and again, I'm holding a slight grudge there too. I need something relatively easy that will make me happy.

I think I'll pick up that darn sleeve from my Tangled Yoke Cardigan. It's easy, there's not too much left, and I just might be able to join the whole thing together and start the yoke tonight, which is the most exciting part.

Step 3: Ignore the laundry piled in the corner and sink full of dirty dishes. That's easy enough.

Step 4: Watch Men in Trees and then last night's Grey's Anatomy online.

That's a nice recipe for a good mood. Now it's pajama time.

Knitting Update, with Pictures!

The Clapotis is done! It was pretty wide after blocking, but has shrunk up a little from wear. It's soft, gorgeous, and makes me feel like a million bucks. Just what the doctor ordered. I LOVED working with Schaefer's Lola - it's a superwash wool that's perfect for winter socks - it knits up to 6-7 sts per inch, so they're not like your usual fingering weight socks. I think I need new socks now.


Speaking of socks, this took me about 4 hours yesterday. I ran home and grabbed an extra circular and tapestry needle and wove in my ends, joined the hem, and knitted just a little bit, but had to put this one down for a break.


So I picked up the Tangled Yoke Cardigan. This is my second sleeve, and after this I get to join the front/back and sleeves and start the yoke. That's the super cool part of this pattern, and I'm so excited to see how it goes. This is my first Eunny Jang pattern, from the Fall 07 Interweave Knits, and I'll work on this today while I wait for the winter issue to come in the mail.


These are my dragon socks. It's Colinette's Jitterbug, in the color Toscana, and they're my first toe-up. I started them a while back and took a break and then lost them. Turns out they were in my t-shirt drawer shoved in the back with those shirts that I never wear anymore but can't quite get rid of. I've always loved the Dragon Skin pattern from Barbara Walker's Second Treasury of Knitting Patterns, and the stitch count was perfect. The picture is a little fuzzy, but these socks are awesome and I can't wait to do the heel.


Before I started the Jitterbug socks, these were my dragon socks. It's the Pomatomus sock pattern from Knitty and I am so freaking proud of these socks because it's a crazy pattern done in twisted rib. The yarn is beautiful - my first ever Koigu project. They were so pretty that I ordered 2 more colorways and they're sitting in my stash because I am supremely pissed at this yarn.

I've worn these socks 3 times. I blocked them well and have hand washed them, 3 times, in my sink in the perfect temperature water with the best fiber washes out there, and they look like crap. It's hard to tell from the bad picture, but they're pilled and fuzzy and the pattern is already getting lost. It's not like I'm running marathons in these socks or running around without shoes on sharp gravel. I take very good care of them and they have let me down.

I expect some pilling and wear from my handknit items, but I have 2-year-old socks out of crappy yarns that look a whole lot better than these.

Koigu is so pretty and everyone loves it, and I love the colors. I've talked to a bunch of people who have used Koigu and while a few have had similar issues, most people say it holds up well. I'm asking you, is this just a bum skein or should I expect this from the yarn in my stash?

I loved the Pomatomus pattern so much that I'm getting some new yarn to make them again so I can wear them all the time.

It's time to go see the nephews and do some laundry. I'm also super duper excited about a little errand today - I'm going to the new Whole Foods in Green Hills! Mom went on opening day and went on about how cool it is, and I'm one of those crazies who LOVES grocery shopping.

Football Pajamas Day!

Every once in a while, I get a luxuriously lazy day to relax. And I have really needed it. So, Happy Football Pajamas Day to me!

So far I've eaten blueberry raspberry pancakes and watched the Titans game. It wasn't pretty, but we beat the Carolina Panthers 20-7. It's still frustrating to watch because I know we can play so much better. But a win's a win, and I'll take it.

It's also been a day of knitting. I'm designing some socks, and had to rip out a lot. They involve a provisional cast on, a nice hem, and a bit of fair isle. But I'm not at home, and didn't have a crochet hook for the cast on so I improvised and made a chain with a knitting needle. I knitted the hem, turning row and fair isle section, and got ready to join the hem. To do this, I rip out the crochet chain and put the live stitches on an extra needle, then knit the sock stitches together with the cast on stitches. But there is no extra circular needle in sight, so I painstakingly put the live stitches on a piece of picture framing wire and started to join. But I forgot a crucial step - the ends need to be woven in first because once the hem is joined, you can't even get to the tails. There's no crochet hook or even sewing needle in sight, so I blog.

I also don't have my camera cord so there will be no pictures in this post of my gorgeous clapotis scarf. It was dry by yesterday morning so I wore it to work all day and then wore it to the bonfire cookout. That thing was around my neck from 7:30 am (it looks great with my bathrobe) to about 1:00 this morning. I love it dearly.

Now it's time to watch the Colts play the Patriots and maybe go for an afternoon drive. In my pajamas. With syrup spilled on them. It's Football Pajamas Day and I'm happy!

Waiting...

It's blocking. The Clapotis scarf out of Schaefer's Lola. It's so hard to wait when your finished product looks so darn pretty.

I picked up my halfway done abandoned fall sweater project, the Tangled Yoke Cardigan, and am slowly knitting through the sleeves, but all I can think about is my scarf.

What a Day!!!!!

I got to meet Laurie Perry ( Crazy Aunt Purl) today!!!!!

I might have had to take more Darvocet in order to drag my butt into work, so I was quite out of it, but it was worth it. I just wish that I didn't look so drugged out in this picture. Laurie's just as nice and easy going as she could be. She signed my book, which I still haven't finished, and hung out for an hour and a half and got to meet a lot of Middle Tennessee knitters. She took time to really chat with everyone, and got to buy some new yarn. I also gave her one of the sugar cookies that Hoss and I made, and it was a hit too.

I talked to my good buddy JP tonight to compare Crazy Aunt Purl experiences, and we both had a fun time. The only thing that sucks is that I didn't actually get to see JP while he was in town - he couldn't come to TBY today and I couldn't go to B&N last night. No fun. But we both got to meet an awesome woman, and I'll see him sometime soon. Huntsville is about halfway between us, so maybe there's a mini road trip in our future...

Laurie, thanks for coming to Tennessee! We hope you enjoyed some Southern hospitality, and hope you have an easy trip back to LaLaLand. We'd love to have you back anytime!

Thankful

Woo Hoo! I got my root canal first thing this morning, and while I was in the dentist's chair a new hot water heater was being installed. The water's not quite warm yet, but I'm checking it every 30 minutes like a crazy stinky woman.

Jaime's scarf turned out great and she loved it! She loves that it's made out of wool and bamboo. Here she is with my sweet brother, Captain Redbeard (his hair is blond but his beard is red. Go figure.) She usually doesn't wear big plastic necklaces or flashing red pins that say, "Kiss me, I'm (insert age here)". Like I'd reveal her age, I'm a better sister than that. We go a little crazy over birthdays in this family and there are usually big party hats and balloons and mardi-gras-esque necklaces and other funky decorations.


After the root canal I decided to make Nanee's potato cheese soup, because that's what she always did for me when I was sick. Since I don't have a blender, I went to mom and dad's to make a mess in their kitchen. It turned out great!

My mouth is still really sore and the nephews were a great distraction. Buddha Bear had shots today too, at his 1-year checkup. He didn't feel good either so we snuggled a whole lot.

Hoss (and mom) made pumpkin shaped sugar cookies, so I got to help with the icing. It was orange too (in flavor and color).

While Hoss is pretty big for a 2-year-old, he's not that tall - he's standing on a footstool. I iced the cookies, he was Master of the Sprinkles. Please don't make fun of me for this picture - half of my face was still numb and I haven't showered since yesterday morning and I'm on pills.

The weekend wasn't a total bust. I finished knitting one of the nephew's Christmas fair isle hats, got some work done on my clapotis scarf, and today read the first 50 pages of Crazy Aunt Purl's book, "Drunk, Divorced and Covered in Cat Hair". I don't want to put it down! Hopefully I'll finish it by tomorrow when I meet her. The more I read the more excited I get about meeting her! Drop by Threaded Bliss Yarns if you get the chance, from 12 - 1. She doesn't have much time here, and it's more of a meet & greet and book signing. Bring your copy of the book, and we've got plenty too. I'll show you my pretty front tooth and will hopefully be nice and clean, and maybe a little dopey.

Bring on the Pain

Alright, that's it. I've had it with this crap. I think I finally fell asleep at 6am after tossing and turning all night while my tooth was throbbing. So I called my trusty dentist - the most amazing dentist on the planet - and he told me what I already knew. I need a root canal.

There is a teeny tiny chance that I don't, and I'm going in for x-rays first thing Monday morning and will hopefully get an appointment for the root canal on Monday.

It could be much worse. My first root canal was on Memorial Day weekend and my dentist was out of town and it took 3 days with no painkillers for me to finally get help. The second was on New Year's Eve. That night was fun. I was the most loopy of all my friends and I'm the one that puked when we got home even though I didn't drink a sip of alcohol. Thank the Lord for hydrocodone.

This time it's Halloween, but the dental offices are open. I picked up antibiotics and painkillers today and left work early and came home to attempt some knitting. Before the meds took effect I got some work done on the fair isle hat, but am probably going to start a new pair of socks in a really easy stitch.

The thing about root canals is that by the time you get one, you're so happy to have your nerves deadened that a really sore mouth is not so bad. You've been in so much pain already that you don't mind swollen gums, achy teeth, and not being able to eat solid food.

The tooth still hurts, but I'm pretty loopy and am just laughing about the absurdity of the situation. I talked to Carrie for a while and she said that I have a very "Zen" attitude, so that's a good sign.

Blocking Makes Everything Better

Blocking does make everything better, but this time I'm not talking about making the scarf prettier (although that is quite true). Blocking makes me feel better. It means that I've finished a project and washed it and it's waiting for its new owner, and I am so sick of that lace pattern. It was a lot of fun, but I knitted 20 inches in the last 48 hours to finish it on time. I thrive under pressure.

When it rains, it pours. I'm sick. I also have a nasty toothache, and with my soft, chalky, crappy teeth and history of emergency root canals, I'm freakin out a little. My hot water heater went out this morning. I called my landlord early this morning, but he decided not to check his messages. I finally reached him this afternoon but it was too late to get it replaced today so I'm s**t out of luck until Monday. There's enough going on right now to make my nerves shot to hell. I'm exhausted and jumpy and had a rough spider experience this evening (apparently if you spray a spider with Pledge, it doesn't die. You have to throw it, along with the shoe it's clinging to, out of the door and into the hall because you just can't deal with it right now.) And, because of my general sicky demeanor I had to turn down a ticket to see Widespread Panic at the Ryman tonight. Ouch. Really big Ouch. Enough bitchin.

Life has been so good to me in the past couple of years. There have been hard times, tough decisions, and minor pitfalls, but in the grand scheme of things I am so incredibly blessed. When it rains, it pours, then life goes on. But the good times definitely outweigh the bad. I'm starting to feel better. Tylenol dulled the toothache just enough. I have the greatest job in the entire universe. I also have the greatest family and friends who are always there for me. I have the cutest nephews on the planet. The weekend is almost here. I'm meeting Crazy Aunt Purl soon. My new sis-in-law is celebrating her first birthday as my brother's wife, and she's definitely something to celebrate. I'm going to a bonfire party at my best friend's house tomorrow night. All of that makes up for having to wake up extra early and go to my parent's house to take a shower in the morning because my landlord won't pay extra money to get a new hot water heater put in on a weekend. Sorry, I'm still pissed about that.

But Monday night I'll have something to be thankful for, something that I take for granted every day - a new hot water heater. Maybe I needed to learn how to appreciate it. If only I could learn to appreciate spiders, but I'll tackle that another day.

Sock Appreciation

This is my nephew, Hoss, with my sweet father.

I have never met anyone that appreciates knitted socks more than my father. He gets that they are beautiful, comfortable, and the perfect fit that makes your entire day brighter. He has worsted weight blue socks for cold mornings, thin stripes to match his suits, solid camel-hair socks, blue funky stripes (shown above) and a little bit of everything in between.

There's nothing better than having someone really, truly appreciate your hard work. Sometimes you put a lot of time, sweat, and money into a project and you have that feeling that they're lying through their teeth when they say, "Oh.. wow... er...that's great..." The thing is, he's the greatest dad ever and is always there for me and taught me a lot about how to appreciate the finer things in life. I appreciate my dad so much, and am tickled that he appreciates my socks.

Now there is a new generation of sock-appreciators in the family. When Hoss opened his birthday present, he could care less about his ultramerino green and blue striped socks. To be honest with you, I was worried. But it all changed Wednesday. I called mom and heard Hoss in the background shouting, "Emmmmm!" and mom informed me that he had been touching his feet all morning saying my name. Not only does he love his socks, he understands that his Auntie Em made them just for him. He loves to watch me knit. When he comes to the yarn store he runs straight to the silk and cashmere and pets them - he doesn't throw hanks of yarn across the room or drool on them like most kids - I've taught him well. He doesn't like acrylic, and actually gets that wool comes from sheep and alpacas are very soft. I'm so proud!!!!!

When Hoss showed off his socks, Dad took him upstairs to pick out some of Auntie Em's socks for him to wear, and mom grabbed some of hers to put on. Poor Buddha Bear was left out, but he's getting some soon. He can wear big brother's hand-me-downs until then.

Not only do I have the most wonderful and supportive family on the planet, they really do love my socks and I couldn't be more proud of them!

Shaky Mojo

My knitting mojo is a little off, and I think I figured out why - I'm only (actively) working on 2 projects right now, and it's just not enough. I've been finishing a lot lately, but have been bad about taking pictures.

I finished Buddha Bear's birthday sweater and it was a huge success. The nephews thought it was soft, and the rest of the family was very impressed. I want one just like it. I promise to dress him up in it and take a good picture soon.

I felted some clogs / slippers Sunday night for my friend Nick, and left my camera at home. I'll get a pic soon. Normally I put some puff paint on the soles of slippers for traction, but it's still not good to wear them outside without further protection. He and I were brainstorming about our sole-covering options, and I like the idea of sewing on faux-leather soles - they'll protect the sole without taking away from the design. Being the inventive crazy man that he is, Nick now wants to find some sort of liquid rubber that will harden and bond to the slipper without cracking once it's set. He's researching using bedliner (for trucks) paint and is kind of scaring me. He's not touching those clogs until he's sure that it will work, and has experimented on other fabrics. If he ruins this gift, he'll have to make the next pair himself - without my help. Any ideas anyone?

I have one gift with a deadline that is going along nicely. It's for my sis-in-law whose birthday is tomorrow, but we can't all get together to celebrate until Sunday (why did we have to schedule this during the Titans game? Can't we eat birthday lunch on trays in the den? Do you people not know me at all?) Actually, I'll miss a game for Jaime because she is absolutely wonderful and I am still so so happy that she's family now. I'm really digging the wool bamboo yarn, and the stitch pattern is just interesting enough. I'm a little over halfway done. And it's the most beautiful shade of green.


Last week I fell in love with some Schaefer Yarn - Lola - in a one of a kind colorway. Cheryl Schaefer visited my LYS and place of employment on Sunday, and I had a blast! One of the many perks of working at a yarn store is that you get to really hang out with any special guests that might come to town, and she's funny! It's a clapotis, pattern altered for a scarf. I might be the only knitter who has not made this, so here's my attempt.


Speaking of special guests, I get to meet Laurie (aka Crazy Aunt Purl) in one week!

In order to regain the knitting mojo, I bought yarn for a new project today. When I showed Benji's hat to the nephews, Hoss (the 2-year-old) ran around saying "Hat! Hat! Hat!" and Baby Buddha put it on and pulled it over his face and said "Pee-boo" (short for peek-a-boo). I asked Hoss if he wanted a hat and he firmly replied "Yesssssss!" He wants yellow, but my family looks scary in that color, so he's getting blue to match his eyes.

These 2 boys are 13 months apart and already fight over toys. I'm not sure if I should make 2 hats the same color, or maybe knit one with oatmeal snowflakes on blue, and another with blue snowflakes on oatmeal. They'll be the same size, so I guess they could switch it up every once in a while. They're not twins, but are very close in age (and size). The color selection in Cascade 220 is much better, but I ended up choosing Encore because it's washable. I try to help my sister out whenever I can.

So I'm starting with one that's oatmeal snowflakes on blue, and we'll see what I do with the second. I'm using another pattern from Charlene Schurch's book "Hats On!" - this time it's the Norwegian Star - Hoss picked it out himself. I'm so proud that those boys love my knitting! I'll enjoy it while it lasts.


It's raining and raining and raining here, and I'm glad because we desperately need it but am already sick of the dreariness. So I bought some new nail polish and painted my toes, and they're so fun I had to share a picture. It was hard to get a good shot (and I'm a terrible photographer) but they're a bright, electric blue. Gotta love the little things that make you smile.

Nanee

Dorothy Nelle Lee Stanford Hutts is my grandmother, although I call her Nanee. She has been like another parent to me. We went out to lunch once a week, we talked almost every day, and she is more proud of me than anyone else on this planet.

I lost my Nanee 3 years ago today. It hurts just as bad as it did that day, but in a way it's easier to deal with. When my family is going through a hard time I desperately wish that I could just ask her for advice, or squeeze her hand, or just lay there in her arms, and that's the hardest part. As time goes by I feel like I need her more than ever.

She always had the best advice. When you're in your 80's and survived the depression, divorce, death, cancer, and all of the crap that life throws at you, it gives the most amazing perspective. She never sugar coated anything, but was so good at putting things in perspective and realizing that it's not the end of the world, even though you might feel that way. When she died I thought my world was over and that my family could never survive without her, but somehow we've made it so far.

She is my biggest cheerleader. I will KNOW for the rest of my life that my Nanee is so proud of me. When I won the senior design award in college, she had been gone a few months, and I stood up on stage to receive the award, wearing Nanee's pearls, I just about lost it because she wasn't there. She's the one who introduced me to O'More, and told me that I could do anything - even be a designer - as long as I was willing to do the work to make it happen. When she died she had just gotten out her favorite scarf - one I had knitted - and put it on the dresser to wear it.

She taught me so much about what it means to be a woman. Although she was conservative, Nanee taught us to be strong and be able to care for ourselves before we could let anyone else take care of us. Her first fiance died in the war, she and my grandfather had to get a divorce, and the love of her life died of cancer 5 years after they got married. She lived alone, in her own home, until she died at age 84. She had the busiest social schedule I've ever seen, and at her funeral so many people (who I didn't even know) told me that she was the best friend they ever had. She told me to treat the garbage man the same way as you treat the governor, and valued every person she met.

Her faith was amazing. That (and her wisdom) were probably the result of a long life, but it was a huge influence on me. I still think "How would Nanee handle this?" or "What would she say?". She was so thankful for every little thing in life, and didn't take much for granted.

She was also a whole lot of fun. She loved football and golf. We'd watch the PGA tour together and would talk about the cute senior tour golfers. When my dear friend Carrie took me to the first Titans game in (now) LP Field, I called Nanee so she could hear the crowd and she was so excited! After games I'd call her and we'd re-hash great runs, or dropped passes, and I still pick up the phone to call her in halftime. When my brother got a motorcycle, she had the best time taking it for a spin (clutching on to him very tight). On her 84th birthday my uncle took her out on his scooter and she rode down the street with a huge smile on her face waving to the neighbors like Miss America.

We'd argue about politics (the day she died she was still trying to convince me to vote for Bush), and I didn't understand why certain social graces were so important to her, but whenever we drank a coke at her house she would thoroughly clean out the empty can and take it to the recycling center in Green Hills. I'll never forget the day that my ex and I took her out to brunch after church. When the check came, he took out his wallet but she had grabbed the check first. She said "It's been 30 years since a man took me out to lunch, and I'm not letting it happen now!"

She held her head up high through whatever was going on, and I pray all the time to have just an ounce of her poise and grace. Now I better understand the importance of manners, grace, and family ties. Sometimes I look in the mirror and for a split second, I see her. A friend of hers stopped by my parent's house recently. It was so great to see her, but she left rather abruptly. Later she told my mom that it was so hard to see the family and not see Nanee, and that I reminded her so much of Nanee that she burst into tears. It was the biggest compliment I have ever received.

Since Nanee died I broke up with the man I thought I would marry, graduated college, got my first one-bedroom apartment, and tried my hand at the real world. My brother has lived all across the country, moved back to Nashville, bought a house, and gotten married. My sister has had 2 children, and my parents moved into her condo.

Mom and Dad knocked down a couple of walls, re-painted, updated the kitchen and bathrooms, and put their own spin on her home. Now I take my nephews swimming in the pool I grew up with, and we watch Titans games in the same den, we make her homemade rolls in front of the same kitchen window, and celebrate all of our family's traditions in that same house. It's filled with the same generosity and love that she showed us - and still shows. Tomorrow night we are celebrating Buddha Bear's first birthday and will take pictures of him sitting in the same position that my brother, sister, and I were at our first birthday. Her traditions kept us together, and strong, and it was (and is) always so much fun to be together. When I enter that home I know I am safe, and loved, except now when I pull out of the carport it's my mom and dad waving to me and not Nanee. I can still see her waving outside the kitchen door until I'm down the street.

It still surprises me that it hurts so badly to not have her here with me. I'm crying my eyes out and my stomach hurts and I have a huge knot in my throat just like 3 years ago. But it's easier to switch to "thankful mode" now. It's easier to remember everything that she taught me and to know that I will always have that. I still learn from her every day. I think about her every day - some of her art hangs in my apartment, I wear the silver bracelet she gave me, I think of her when I see an off-white Cadillac, and I especially think about her when I look into the eyes of my older nephew - he looks just like her. And acts like her too. I hate that she never met her great-grandchildren, but in one sense she knew them before we did.

Nanee is still my biggest fan, and I still ask her for advice, although the answers are not as clear. Her favorite Bible verse was Psalm 100 - and I read it when I think of her, even though I've had it memorized for years. It sums up everything that made her smile. Hope it makes someone else smile too. Psalm 100, verse 5:

For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;
His faithfulness continues through all generations.

Much better than Monday

It's been a busy 24 hours.

Last night was the birthday celebration, and Benji cooked dinner for 4 of his friends. (We offered to cook, but he wanted to). It was one of the best meals I've had in a while, and the company was just right. It was a beautiful night and we ate in the backyard, then laughed and danced. Just what I needed.

While my camera was passed around and we took a ton of pictures, I didn't get a decent one of the birthday boy in his hat. I didn't get a decent picture of anyone in the hat, so here's a bad shot of me, closing my eyes during the flash because I do it in every picture ever taken of me. I am obsessed with this hat because I'm so surprised that it looks so good! I showed it to the nephews and they both had a lot of fun trying it on. Looks like they'll be getting fair isle hats this winter too.


The only bad part of the evening was that I felt a migraine coming on, and it was rearing its ferocious head by morning. I've been completely off-kilter today, so it's time for another night of rest and dark chocolate.

The best part of today was a phone call at work - and the following announcement -

CRAZY AUNT PURL IS COMING TO THREADED BLISS YARNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She will be there on Tuesday, October 30th at noon. Woo Hoo! I can't wait to meet her!!!!!!!! I don't have a copy of her book yet - "Drunk, Divorced, and Covered in Cat Hair' - the best title ever - but I've browsed through a friend's copy and it looks awesome. There are also some really cool patterns in the back.

Now it is knit o'clock, and time to finish Buddha Bear's sweater and wash it and block it. I still have to pick up another gift for him - babies don't appreciate hand knits as much as they should - so it looks like a trip to Target is in order to get a stuffed animal. Probably a bear for the bear. How original.